my own not-so-private tumblr

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 17:59:03 -0400

my own not-so-private tumblr:

i decided to actually use my own tumblr, or try to at least. we’ll see. -s

dears: theduty: Canadians. polite AND intelligent. …thanks for...

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 15:01:03 -0400

dears:

theduty:

Canadians.

polite AND intelligent.

…thanks for rubbing it in.

dears: Yeah, jerks.

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 14:59:24 -0400

dears:

Yeah, jerks.

Photo

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 12:28:22 -0400

Never forget

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 16:01:44 -0400

Never forget

Photo

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 20:21:30 -0400

theduty: seriously. nice work. bravo.

Mon, 29 Jun 2009 19:42:27 -0400

theduty:

seriously.

nice work.

bravo.

FACT

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 19:22:43 -0400

FACT

merlin: Radiohead - “Ceremony” (New Order cover) I don’t think...

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 17:31:59 -0400

merlin:

Radiohead - “Ceremony” (New Order cover)

I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of watching this.

[Ceremony, previously]

theduty: fact. Double true.

Sun, 07 Jun 2009 23:33:26 -0400

theduty:

fact.

Double true.

What are you looking at fatso?

Fri, 05 Jun 2009 02:22:59 -0400

What are you looking at fatso?

Oh Pedobear, you silly bear.

Fri, 05 Jun 2009 02:18:52 -0400

Oh Pedobear, you silly bear.

It’s funny because it’s true. Wait what?

Fri, 05 Jun 2009 02:17:52 -0400

It’s funny because it’s true. Wait what?

Elves. Fucking elves.

Fri, 05 Jun 2009 02:17:17 -0400

Elves. Fucking elves.

dears: isay: drgn547: From: David ThorneDate: Thursday 21 May...

Fri, 05 Jun 2009 02:05:58 -0400

dears:

isay: drgn547:

From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 10.16am
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Pets in the building

Dear Helen,

Thank you for your letter concerning pets in my apartment. I understand that having dogs in the apartment is a violation of the agreement due to the comfort and wellbeing of my neighbours and I am currently soundproofing my apartment with egg cartons as I realise my dogs can cause quite a bit of noise. Especially during feeding time when I release live rabbits.

Regards, David.

From: Helen Bailey
Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 11.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Pets in the building

Hello David

I have received your email and wish to remind you that the strata agreement states that no animals are allowed in the building regardless of if your apartment is soundproof. How many dogs do you have at the premises?

Helen

From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 1.52pm
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Pets in the building

Dear Helen,

Currently I only have eight dogs but one is expecting puppies and I am very excited by this. I am hoping for a litter of at least ten as this is the number required to participate in dog sled racing. I have read every Jack London novel in preparation and have constructed my own sled from timber I borrowed from the construction site across the road during the night. I have devised a plan which I feel will ensure me taking first place in the next national dog sled championships. For the first year of the puppies life I intend to say the word mush then chase them violently around the apartment while yelling and hitting saucepan lids together. I have estimated that the soundproofing of my apartment should block out at least sixty percent of the noise and the dogs will learn to associate the word mush with great fear so when I yell it on race day, the panic and released adrenaline will spur them on to being winners. I am so confident of this being a foolproof plan that I intend to sell all my furniture the day before the race and bet the proceeds on coming first place.

Regards, David.

From: Helen Bailey
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 9.43am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

David, I am unsure what to make of your email. Do you have pets in the apartment or not?

Helen

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 11.27am
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

Dear Helen,

No. I have a goldfish but due to the air conditioner in my apartment being stuck on a constant two degrees celcius, the water in its bowl is iced over and he has not moved for a while so I do not think he is capable of disturbing the neighbours. The ducks in the bathroom are not mine. The noise which my neighbours possibly mistook for a dog in the apartment is just the looping tape I have of dogs barking which I play at high volume while I am at work to deter potential burglars from breaking in and stealing my tupperware. I need it to keep food fresh. Once I ate leftover chinese that had been kept in an unsealed container and I experienced complete awareness. The next night I tried eating it again but only experienced chest pains and diarrhoea.

Regards, David.

From: Helen Bailey
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 1.46pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

Hello David

You cannot play sounds of dogs or any noise at a volume that disturbs others. I am sure you can appreciate that these rules are for the benefit of all residents of the building. Fish are fine. You cannot have ducks in the apartment though. If it was small birds that would be ok.

Helen

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 2.18pm
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

Dear Helen,

They are very small ducks.

Regards, David.

From: Helen Bailey
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 4.06pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

David, under section 4 of the strata residency agreement it states that you cannot have pets. You agreed to these rules when you signed the forms. These rules are set out to benefit everyone in the building including yourself. Do you have a telephone number I can call you on to discuss?

Helen

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 5.02pm
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

Dear Helen,

The ducks will no doubt be flying south for the winter soon so it will not be an issue. It is probably for the best as they are not getting along very well with my seventeen cats anyway…

Regards, David.

From: Helen Bailey
Date: Monday 25 May 2009 9.22am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

David, I am just going to write on the forms that we have investigated and you do not have any pets.

Helen

theduty: pyramid of humanity. Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

Mon, 25 May 2009 20:38:22 -0400

theduty:

pyramid of humanity.

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

theduty: laughs.

Mon, 18 May 2009 12:42:21 -0400

theduty:

laughs.

Fat Cat wants to look HAWT for his lady friend

Fri, 15 May 2009 23:39:33 -0400

Fat Cat wants to look HAWT for his lady friend

Hey I recognize that place...

Fri, 15 May 2009 20:23:42 -0400

Hey I recognize that place...

Cat Workout

Thu, 14 May 2009 01:24:57 -0400

Cat Workout:

Workout with your cat you lazy ass

That's fucking fistacular.

my own not-so-private tumblr

dears: theduty: Canadians. polite AND intelligent. …thanks for...

dears: Yeah, jerks.

Photo

Never forget

Photo

theduty: seriously. nice work. bravo.

FACT

merlin: Radiohead - “Ceremony” (New Order cover) I don’t think...

theduty: fact. Double true.

What are you looking at fatso?

Oh Pedobear, you silly bear.

It’s funny because it’s true. Wait what?

Elves. Fucking elves.

dears: isay: drgn547: From: David ThorneDate: Thursday 21 May...

theduty: pyramid of humanity. Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

theduty: laughs.

Fat Cat wants to look HAWT for his lady friend

Hey I recognize that place...

Cat Workout